Rural Vs. Urban Humorist Gifts

"Walter! What brings you out to the Ohio office?"

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

Cash Machines From Across the Land

I fart more than that!

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

Scarecrows guarding a field

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

A Venus cow trap.

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

Cow in a vest: Well, I think I look like Bruce Willis!

'It's negative attention ... as long as you keep asking why, they'll keep on doing it.'

"In honor of your birthday I had your face tattooed to my ass."

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...

'I didn't have time to cut the lawn, so I used your credit card to have it carpeted. Do you like the cool color I picked out?'

"He keeps watching over our flock. I think it's a stalker."

'Is it ok if I just bring in some of our carpet?'

"Do you think those clams we ate were a little off?"

'You got much on at the moment?'; 'No, nothing really.' (Naked man)

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

Cow has caught a frisby in his udders

"You know, crime doesn't pay... at least at your level."

Early American Think tank

"Tony and Stephanie are from Iowa."

'I met my wife on Faeces Book.'

COWS: Spare cow

"Do you recognize the one who stole your tractor?"

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

'Of course there is room for advancement. You certainly can't go down from here.'

Close, but no cigar!

"Can you milk a cow?"