Rural Vs. Urban Humorist Pillows

"Walter! What brings you out to the Ohio office?"

'Little Yank' Calf Puller.

I'm prepared to admit that you may have startled me a bit, sure!

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

Cash Machines From Across the Land

"Hey, welcome to the Catskills. Anyone here from New Jersey?"

I fart more than that!

Scarecrows guarding a field

A Venus cow trap.

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

"Obi-Wan Kenobi. You're our only hope."

'It's negative attention ... as long as you keep asking why, they'll keep on doing it.'

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...

'I didn't have time to cut the lawn, so I used your credit card to have it carpeted. Do you like the cool color I picked out?'

"He keeps watching over our flock. I think it's a stalker."

"Do you think those clams we ate were a little off?"

'Is it ok if I just bring in some of our carpet?'

"You know, crime doesn't pay... at least at your level."

Cow has caught a frisby in his udders

"Do you recognize the one who stole your tractor?"

'You got much on at the moment?'; 'No, nothing really.' (Naked man)

COWS: Spare cow

'I met my wife on Faeces Book.'

"Tony and Stephanie are from Iowa."

Early American Think tank

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

"I'm tired of having to apologize for the condition of the house."

Close, but no cigar!

'Of course there is room for advancement. You certainly can't go down from here.'

I think we need to lose the 'Singing Ringing Tree'!

"Can you milk a cow?"