Rural Shenanigans Appreciator Gifts

'They may well be chasing you, but there's not enough room for you to hide in here...!'

Cow jumping over the moonshine.

Please Drove Carefully.

Goat about goat: 'He's no longer gruff since he's been on Prozac.'

'I'm collecting manure for my strawberries.' The woman says, 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

"Static cling."

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

Red trousers at night - shepherd's delight.

'Leadership training.'

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

Twitter that!

“Typical, first we lost our winter fuel payment, and now our woolly jumpers!”

'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

"Ok Lassie, cut out the smart arse bit and just herd the sheep."

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

'...and then I married the handsome farmer and the two hundred head of dairy cattle.'

Mummy?!

'Cows have bells because their horns don't work.'

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

'There'll be a special meeting of the board concerning the recent generous contribution of stock.'

"I like friut flies!"

Welcome to the urban farm. A bit of country in the city.

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

A-Hem! I'm still singing here!

The physics of the situation had Jed confused. The cow had merely ambled onto the haystack, so was clearly not a leapt-on Yet at the same time, it clearly was a moo-on.

I've been doing sit-ups!

'Why should I be scared? I'm not a crow...'

'My practice is limited to small animals, Sir....'

'Wilbur, I'm afraid the patient is no longer in stable condition.'

"Quick! Get your gun, Pa! Here come the suburbs."