Rural Shenanigans Appreciator Pillows

'They may well be chasing you, but there's not enough room for you to hide in here...!'

Please Drove Carefully.

'I'm collecting manure for my strawberries.' The woman says, 'I always put cream and sugar on mine.'

"Static cling."

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

"Your shepherd, Louie, has retired. I'm Mr. Smathers. I will be your grazing-resource coördinator and flock welfare-and-security manager."

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

“Typical, first we lost our winter fuel payment, and now our woolly jumpers!”

'Yes, we have a very diversified economy around here.'

"Ok Lassie, cut out the smart arse bit and just herd the sheep."

"Welcome to Randolph, Vermont. Don't even think of relocating here!"

Mummy?!

'Cows have bells because their horns don't work.'

'...and then I married the handsome farmer and the two hundred head of dairy cattle.'

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

Boy, this stuff's hard to swallow!

'I'm not feeling well. I think I've got human flu.'

"I like friut flies!"

'There'll be a special meeting of the board concerning the recent generous contribution of stock.'

Welcome to the urban farm. A bit of country in the city.

A-Hem! I'm still singing here!

The physics of the situation had Jed confused. The cow had merely ambled onto the haystack, so was clearly not a leapt-on Yet at the same time, it clearly was a moo-on.

I told you not to use horse liniment as an underarm deoderant...

'Toilet paper, Lassie! Fetch toilet paper! Stupid mutt!'

'My practice is limited to small animals, Sir....'

I've been doing sit-ups!

'Why should I be scared? I'm not a crow...'

'Wilbur, I'm afraid the patient is no longer in stable condition.'

Early American Think tank

"Quick! Get your gun, Pa! Here come the suburbs."