Rural Rascal Pillows

'This model is hard to get parts for.'

Chase me, chase me cows.

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

'Oh, it's a long, long time...From here to November...'

'We're taking over tonight, it's the only way to save the farm.'

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

"I don't care if you saw this in a western..."

'Must really be a terrible headache you've got there, Doctor.'

'I guess you might call it a sort of penicillin reaction.'

'There's so much I want to do with my life...before I reach the age of criminal responsibility, that is.'

'At least they can't touch the village local' say two country gents. The pub now has a sign on the window saying 'This is now a smoke free pub, also no dogs or horsey types!'

Wow, I don't know why we don't sit down like this more often!

As a reformed gunfight, Big Jake vowed never again to use an iron

'Barry I think it's time you had your eyes checked!'

The Pooperrazzi

WHOA! Another 6! Erm...what's that mean?

'How do people without a middle name know when the're in trouble?'

"Okay, now we're too domesticated."

'A listener from Ridgeway asks, 'When visiting a friend, is it improper to drink out of the toilet unless asked first?' Good question...'

'Break a leg.' - 'Thanks a lot.'

"This is nice. Just you, me, Buster and a landscape by Andrew Wyeth."

'You kids get out of this park right now and go play in traffic!!!'

Jesus Seals the Hick...

"It's new. It's called a pre-tip. You pay me now and I'll actually bring your food before it's cold!"

'I'll be finished with the surgery by 1 o'clock!'

'Farm News' readers want to know about my childhood? Rather normal really: Lived in a pigsty, ate swill every day...'

Now we wait for the show to begin!

A chicken coop with a loudspeaker on the roof

'Life on the farm used to be so... innocent. What's happened to us?'

'So I guess it's New Year!'

Microwave - 'Table 19 sends compliments to the chef!'

'Hello, Biggo Farm Equipment? How much longer is it going to take to get my manure spreader fixed?'

Mother Cowmas

Ram Raiders deterred due to wet paint.