Raid Rascals Pillows

Ram Raiders deterred due to wet paint.

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

"I don't care if you saw this in a western..."

'This model is hard to get parts for.'

'There's so much I want to do with my life...before I reach the age of criminal responsibility, that is.'

As a reformed gunfight, Big Jake vowed never again to use an iron

'Barry I think it's time you had your eyes checked!'

'How do people without a middle name know when the're in trouble?'

'Well I think everything is in order, congratulations on your new home!'

'A listener from Ridgeway asks, 'When visiting a friend, is it improper to drink out of the toilet unless asked first?' Good question...'

'Break a leg.' - 'Thanks a lot.'

'You kids get out of this park right now and go play in traffic!!!'

'No kidding? You don't wear anything underneath either?'

Stop the world. I want to get off again.

'Hey! Who left the television off?'

No child onboard. Don't drive carefully.

'I sent Ben to fly fishing school, now he's a menace to the whole stream!'

Clockwork Revolving Door

"What's tough is having to build a new power base from scratch."

"Gloves off at the table please!" "They're not gloves, they're dirt!"

The Tour de Pants.

'I'm afraid releasing that information would not be in the public interest.'

Boy throwing mud over a coachman's heels

"Hey feet off the table"

Rat Hands.

Weather forecasters tell lies!

'How impressive! I had no idea they awarded a Nobel Prize for home winemaking.'

Devil

Throwing snails into next door's garden

For the last time, Mr. Clooney - That's not what we do here.

'I found a sure way to score at the races. Don't pick horses, pick pockets.'

"British Rail regrets the delay of......"

"I miss the steady paycheck."