Little Rascal Pillows

'Hey! Who left the television off?'

"Gloves off at the table please!" "They're not gloves, they're dirt!"

"I don't care if you saw this in a western..."

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

Child driving a toy car

'This model is hard to get parts for.'

'There's so much I want to do with my life...before I reach the age of criminal responsibility, that is.'

As a reformed gunfight, Big Jake vowed never again to use an iron

'Barry I think it's time you had your eyes checked!'

'It's an '07 model. I JUST finished putting it together.'

'I counted them as well. . .There were four too many.'

'How do people without a middle name know when the're in trouble?'

"Nine and three! Nine and three o’clock!!"

'Break a leg.' - 'Thanks a lot.'

'You kids get out of this park right now and go play in traffic!!!'

'Ruddy european labelling legislation'

"It's new. It's called a pre-tip. You pay me now and I'll actually bring your food before it's cold!"

Microwave - 'Table 19 sends compliments to the chef!'

'Mind giving him his bath now- he'll be asleep when we get home!'

"You do realize this may affect my review of you on Yelp?"

Ram Raiders deterred due to wet paint.

No child onboard. Don't drive carefully.

Man: 'Oh for HEAVEN'S sake Zachary! WHAT have I told you about RUNNING THROUGH the house?!

'I'm afraid your 'giggle-pin's' gone on your 'laugh-shaft'!'

The Tour de Pants.

'I'm afraid releasing that information would not be in the public interest.'

Boy throwing mud over a coachman's heels

"You'll never eat all that. Your problem is your eyes are bigger than your stomach."

Weather forecasters tell lies!

'How impressive! I had no idea they awarded a Nobel Prize for home winemaking.'

Devil

Throwing snails into next door's garden

For the last time, Mr. Clooney - That's not what we do here.

'I found a sure way to score at the races. Don't pick horses, pick pockets.'

"British Rail regrets the delay of......"