Playful Rascal Pillows

Boy throwing mud over a coachman's heels

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

'This model is hard to get parts for.'

"I don't care if you saw this in a western..."

'There's so much I want to do with my life...before I reach the age of criminal responsibility, that is.'

"I cranked up the dose a tad. Why should kids have all the fun?"

As a reformed gunfight, Big Jake vowed never again to use an iron

'Barry I think it's time you had your eyes checked!'

'How do people without a middle name know when the're in trouble?'

'A listener from Ridgeway asks, 'When visiting a friend, is it improper to drink out of the toilet unless asked first?' Good question...'

'You kids get out of this park right now and go play in traffic!!!'

'Break a leg.' - 'Thanks a lot.'

'Ruddy european labelling legislation'

Cheeky Boy

"You do realize this may affect my review of you on Yelp?"

Congestion Eases Inexplicably

'Hey! Who left the television off?'

No child onboard. Don't drive carefully.

Man: 'Oh for HEAVEN'S sake Zachary! WHAT have I told you about RUNNING THROUGH the house?!

'I sent Ben to fly fishing school, now he's a menace to the whole stream!'

"Gloves off at the table please!" "They're not gloves, they're dirt!"

The Tour de Pants.

'I'm afraid releasing that information would not be in the public interest.'

'I'll have you know that I'm listening to offers from other families!'

'Melvin, you have so much lead in your pants you don't need an apron....

'How impressive! I had no idea they awarded a Nobel Prize for home winemaking.'

Weather forecasters tell lies!

"That's a semi-private room for you. You caught his and he caught yours."

Devil

For the last time, Mr. Clooney - That's not what we do here.

Smash the System

'I found a sure way to score at the races. Don't pick horses, pick pockets.'

"British Rail regrets the delay of......"

The Bad Girls Always Hung Out Near The Mood Swings