Young Rascal Pillows

'There's so much I want to do with my life...before I reach the age of criminal responsibility, that is.'

'How do people without a middle name know when the're in trouble?'

(When I'm good I'm very very good, but when I'm bad I'm... Well….) (Horrid?)

"I don't care if you saw this in a western..."

'This model is hard to get parts for.'

' ... and this is the half bath.'

As a reformed gunfight, Big Jake vowed never again to use an iron

'Barry I think it's time you had your eyes checked!'

'You kids get out of this park right now and go play in traffic!!!'

'Break a leg.' - 'Thanks a lot.'

Cheeky Boy

'... and the house prices are still going up.'

Ram Raiders deterred due to wet paint.

'Hey! Who left the television off?'

No child onboard. Don't drive carefully.

Man: 'Oh for HEAVEN'S sake Zachary! WHAT have I told you about RUNNING THROUGH the house?!

'I'm afraid your 'giggle-pin's' gone on your 'laugh-shaft'!'

'I sent Ben to fly fishing school, now he's a menace to the whole stream!'

"Gloves off at the table please!" "They're not gloves, they're dirt!"

The Tour de Pants.

Boy throwing mud over a coachman's heels

'I'm afraid releasing that information would not be in the public interest.'

'Melvin, you have so much lead in your pants you don't need an apron....

Devil

Weather forecasters tell lies!

"That's a semi-private room for you. You caught his and he caught yours."

'How impressive! I had no idea they awarded a Nobel Prize for home winemaking.'

Throwing snails into next door's garden

For the last time, Mr. Clooney - That's not what we do here.

'I found a sure way to score at the races. Don't pick horses, pick pockets.'

"British Rail regrets the delay of......"