Running For Student Council Gifts

'I'm considering a run for class president. Do we have any skeletons in our closet I should first know about?'

'Instead of being just like Michael Jordan, I wanna be just like Barack.'

'As a beginning teacher, you know you come here prepared to teach and become a good teacher. As you gain experience, you will learn that you also come here to care and become a great teacher.'

Who should be the next eco-club president? The most vegan? The most carbon neutral? The most into solar? Eco-club. But we need someone who will attract kids to the environmental cause. Then it's obvious. The most popular. Or most athletic!

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

"Being the smartest girl in third grade is going to Melinda's head."

"There are no dumb questions, Billy, but there are plenty of dumb answers!"

'I'm so proud of Trevor for getting an early start on his negative campaign for Student Council.'

Do Not Pass. Just like high school.

"Sorry, but no. I can't lend you a student to help clean up your yard."

"I'm enjoying kindergarten except for all the politics!"

"We're students and we don't like this sculpture. Have it removed by tomorrow."

'I'm Stacey, whose mother is the proud parent of an honor student.'

Truth In Education

"I hope that this is just a riot of passage."

'See, this is proof that your criticism of our educational system is right on!'

"He doesn't like dinosaurs."

We have too many students! I know. Send them home!

Voting on their Seats

Student Council. Ernie's no longer on the student council, but he's sticking around as a lobbyist.

"It's this marvelous little liberal-arts college in Kansas that gives frequent-flier miles."

'I'd like to run for class president but I don't want to put my family through a background check.'

"Life is full of transitions...like from student loan to credit card debt."

Class of 2015

"I teach ... to impact a life."

Giggling during the debate didn't cost you the election. The mile coming out of your nose cost you the election.

"So where do you see yourself fitting into late stage capitalism?"

'May I be excused? The pressure is getting to me.'

'I know you were elected class president...'

'If you finish your first year of teaching and haven't destroyed the innate curiosity of your young students, you are a successful teacher.'

Graduation Support Groups

"It's important that you complete the course."

'It's only temporary. My student loans didn't quite carry me until social security.'

I'm graduating! You'll have to pick a new eco-club president. How will we ever manage? Not sure. Tap tap tap tap tap. Now one else screws things up as well as she does! Of course

"Oh, I'm not worried about doing the job, if elected. I'm more concerned about facing the onslaught of lobbyists."