Rule Enforcer Humorist Gifts

'Sorry kid, but rules are rules!'

"Why don't you come get me? Oh that's right, you aren't allowed on the couch!"

'No, I will not entertain a motion to suspend the rules!'

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

'Why, yes, I think that's a lovely sweater, Peter... But you know the rule: no snacks unless you brought enough for the whole class.'

No Smoking.

'Click it or ticket.'

'And then the bad man from the Securities and Exchange Commission and I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down!'

'What a control freak!'

"Let's try the swearing-in process again, and this time, without the high-fives at the end."

"Darren Eggleston. I saw that!"

I will not waste chalk kid...

Referee cop.

'I'd watch this ref, he loves dishing out Punishment.'

'I think we're going to need a compliance officer for these.'

'We only have a few rules around here, but we really enforce them.'

"And if you look to the right you'll see what happens if you disrupt my class."

Yomp Trucking Inc...My way or the highway!

"That's why we wear hard hats"

Mom Umpires

"So it's agreed then. From now on we're to do our hourse trading in partially smoke-filled rooms."

"I'll let you ticket this one, Mick."

"I try to get a head start on them."

'It's a whole new twist - a straight-laced detective who does everything by the book.'

'Let's get a few things straight. No speed reading, no silly voices, no skipping pages...'

'I love doing surprise inspections.'

'Building Inspectors During Their Off Hours.'

'It's from the Federal Trade Commission -- we have to put in a non-smoking section.'

"The bad news is my doctor limited me to one glass of wine per day. The good news is I get to pick the glass."

'My client stands before you, a jury of his peers ...'

'I heard you mom is really strict.'

"You're a very good hall monitor, Billy, but we don't detain teachers."

'The next disciplinary committee might not be so lenient.'

Stop! Mad cows are forbidden to cross the border!

IRS, 'Internal just isn't enough any more -- we have to go EXternal.'