Ruins Appreciator Gifts

Doric, Ionic, Corinthian, and Broken Pillars.

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Pirate eye test

'What's that funny smell?'

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

"You ever get the feeling the posse's starting to lose focus?"

"Don't you sometimes worry that if they do give us our stuff back we'll lose some of the sense of grievance that's so crucial to our cultural identity?"

"...but, seriously..."

The Stat-ewe of Liberty.

"Your antique gold watch didn't float."

"Come off it, you're not working from dawn till dusk: You're working at dawn and at dusk..."

Smile??? I'm pregnant.

'Whoever wants my job must lift the sword from the stone.'

My horse for a kingdom.

Mt. Tushmore

"I knew you was mad when you tried to sell me to them "American Pickers" fellers."

"Look, you asked me what my favorite book was and it just happens to be A Farewell to Arms."

"Good night, Al. We still haven't found it."

'Everybody gets to go fishing but me! Life just isn't fair!'

"Careful now. It's fragile."

Painting the Sistine Chapel. 1508. 1509. 1510. 1511. 1512. It looks great, Michelangelo, but there's one thing I don't understand. Why didn't you just paint it in the regular way and then mount it on the ceiling?

"I'll be grateful for the small things, and you can be grateful for the big things - that way, we'll have it covered."

"I knew I shouldn't have eaten that dodgy fish."

"A funny thing happened on my way over here..."

"I don't know who on Facebook told you, but I can assure you Stradivarius didn't make accordions!"

Michelangelo's David

'I'm very proud of what he achieved during his life.'

"Have you got it in beige?"

The World Will Overheat and End Next Week: Like, will it be on You Tube?

"If only these kids had grown up with the same role models we had, then maybe they wouldn't look so damn ridiculous!"

"And if you press that one, someone will come in and tell you what a good job you're doing,"

"The money's not all that flash here, but you do get recognition for good work."

Any old Gold - 'There's a man ahead of his time'

'My luggage has gone to hell!'

'I believe this is one of the original sets'