Rugby Coach Gifts

'OK. Wachtel. Go ahead. But remember: In a real scrum, there are no potty breaks.'

Rugby oldies

England rugby squad hit losing streak: 'A bit like the one they hit from the early 80's to the late 90's.'

"And if this doesn't work just punch them."

'No, no, no...kick the ball into touch! The ball!'

Sponsered rugby players

Martin Johnson Chooses New England Rugby Squad.

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

"She's struggling to express her appreciation of the All Blacks Rugby teams physiques without sexually objectifying them..."

'Relax, the game is over.'

'Don't worry, the bigger they are the harder they fall.'

The referee...

"No-one scores against the All Blacks."

How many ways can a coach say 'get the ball and score some points'.

"I told you to tackle him, not tickle him!!!"

Peter De Villiers.

'Remember, don't flatten the players wearing the same shirts as you...'

'Yes Mr. Johnson, if you buy a box of chocolates you can be in control of the selection

Tonight's Training - Post-Try Celebrations

Toby Booth

Course of Training for Rugger Novices

"I'm not sure I like this new strip."

"No no no...You can kick the ball into touch, not the opposition!"

'Call my manager and we will work something out.'

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

I like the Jets...I guess

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

Reach for the Star.

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.