Rugby Gifts

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

'You play ball with me and I'll play ball with you!'

Rugby...simply a great way to meet people.

'Mutilate, mangle, crush, pound, slam, bash, plaster and pulverize. That's rugby... Now get out there and have fun!'

The New Surgery Interpreter was to prove invaluable

Rugby - Interesting line-out tactics.

'Let's put it this way, part of you was offside!'

"Some prop-forward he's turned out to be."

"Excuse me ref, a few of the lads on the losing team would like a word if they may..."

'Will he be right for Saturday, Doc?'

You were warned about mixed marriages.

Rugby - Barring the goal

'OK. Wachtel. Go ahead. But remember: In a real scrum, there are no potty breaks.'

'Tries, tries, don't you people ever achieve anything?'

'I just find women playing rugby so unladylike.'

'I get the feeling that he isn't a team player...'

Rugby player carrying ball in his headband

After biologists draw blood samples and record vital statistics, the rugby player is tagged and released.

'Great distance.Poor aim!'

'I'm sick and tired of being kicked around.'

'Can I be in goal?'

'Damn computer hakas'

Rugby players catching trophy

'Apparently he does 20 yards to the pint.'

Rugby player searches on line for 'front teeth'.

Rugby Players and Referees.

St John's ambulance member "I prefer rugby myself, more blood shed"

'I should have known there was a catch when he asked us to play rugby with him...'

Rugby player with a convenient toilet in the goal posts

"Ooh, scrummy!"

Rugby player scores with boot but not the ball.

'Why the numbers on their backs?' - 'So the bodies can be identified.'

...but enough about me. Ever played any rugby yourself?

'Forget the bloody sat-nav! The tryline's that direction!'

'Well someone's gotta talk to the front row about their curry-night bonding sessions.'