Rugby Gifts

Rugby scrum with a 'Meeting in Progress' sign.

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

'You play ball with me and I'll play ball with you!'

Rugby...simply a great way to meet people.

The New Surgery Interpreter was to prove invaluable

'Mutilate, mangle, crush, pound, slam, bash, plaster and pulverize. That's rugby... Now get out there and have fun!'

Rugby - Interesting line-out tactics.

'Let's put it this way, part of you was offside!'

"Some prop-forward he's turned out to be."

"Excuse me ref, a few of the lads on the losing team would like a word if they may..."

You were warned about mixed marriages.

'Will he be right for Saturday, Doc?'

Jonny Wilkinson.

'I just find women playing rugby so unladylike.'

'Tries, tries, don't you people ever achieve anything?'

Rugby - Barring the goal

'OK. Wachtel. Go ahead. But remember: In a real scrum, there are no potty breaks.'

'Great distance.Poor aim!'

'I'm sick and tired of being kicked around.'

'Can I be in goal?'

After biologists draw blood samples and record vital statistics, the rugby player is tagged and released.

'I get the feeling that he isn't a team player...'

Rugby player carrying ball in his headband

Rugby Mad.

'Well someone's gotta talk to the front row about their curry-night bonding sessions.'

St John's ambulance member "I prefer rugby myself, more blood shed"

"Ooh, scrummy!"

'Apparently he does 20 yards to the pint.'

Rugby player scores with boot but not the ball.

...but enough about me. Ever played any rugby yourself?

'Why the numbers on their backs?' - 'So the bodies can be identified.'

'Forget the bloody sat-nav! The tryline's that direction!'

'Damn computer hakas'

Rugby player searches on line for 'front teeth'.

Rugby player with a convenient toilet in the goal posts