Rugby Coach Pillows

'OK. Wachtel. Go ahead. But remember: In a real scrum, there are no potty breaks.'

Rugby oldies

England rugby squad hit losing streak: 'A bit like the one they hit from the early 80's to the late 90's.'

"And if this doesn't work just punch them."

'No, no, no...kick the ball into touch! The ball!'

Sponsered rugby players

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'

"She's struggling to express her appreciation of the All Blacks Rugby teams physiques without sexually objectifying them..."

'Relax, the game is over.'

'Don't worry, the bigger they are the harder they fall.'

The referee...

How many ways can a coach say 'get the ball and score some points'.

"I told you to tackle him, not tickle him!!!"

'Remember, don't flatten the players wearing the same shirts as you...'

Tonight's Training - Post-Try Celebrations

Course of Training for Rugger Novices

"I'm not sure I like this new strip."

"No no no...You can kick the ball into touch, not the opposition!"

'Call my manager and we will work something out.'

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

I like the Jets...I guess

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

Reach for the Star.

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

The trauma of losing.

Go! Means NOW!