Rude Boy Enthusiast Gifts

"Don't call me ska face!"

"I'm still looking for the lap of luxury."

A man at a cocktail party wears a nametag that reads "Trouble".

"You had me at hell."

"Why do I always choose 'The Bad Boy'?"

In a stock brokers, the lift buttons for up and down have bulls and bears on them.

Looks like this is the only contest Fluffy has a chance of winning today!

'Ah, it seems that I've completely misjudged the mood of the evening.'

"The carpet really brings the room together."

'You think you can purr your way out of anything, don't you?'

'Sometimes I think I spoil you Tiddles!'

"The cat's sleeping." "She's so comfy." "If I move I'll wake her up." "The phone is ringing... They'll call back later." "I'm hungry... But it'll pass." "Just gotta wait 'till she wakes up."

"Riddle your salad with pepper, sir?"

"I'm not going into college today, I don't feel enough sense of outrage."

"Thank you for not taking our customer satisfaction surney at the end this call. Now I can be rude to you with impunity."

Cat DNA is decoded.

"Oh, yes, he's bad. But in a good way."

Friendly Troll.

'Remind me, what should I be thanking my lucky stars for?'

"I'm just seeing if there's anything to be outraged at."

"I guess I go for the bad boys."

"The Three Billy Goats Gruff and Fred M. Smith, Chief Fraud Investigator, Department of Transportation, Roads and Bridges... THAT'S who's crossing this bridge."

"Mr. Stephenson is the subject of a widely anticipated obituary."

'I know a trap when I see one.'

"Sure, I may shed too much...I'm not always a 'cool cat'...dirt gets tuck in my whiskers... and I don't kill my prey right away...but if someone can see past all that to my warm, loving core...they're probably close enough to scratch."

The art of regifting

"Isn't that cute? She bought herself a little stool to sit on and watch us shred her chairs!"

'Hi! You must be an absurdist - or are you just absurd?'

"Ha ha. Stop by and say hello to your mother. Ha ha, that's a good one!"

You look like my kind of man.

Cow Piercing.

'Why are you so rude?'

"They always go for the dangerous types."