Bad Boy Enthusiast Gifts

"I hate to admit it, but a man with a big carbon footprint makes me hot."

'Armed robbers are sexy and exciting, but kleptomaniacs make the best providers.'

"Oh, yes, he's bad. But in a good way."

"Absolutely not!"

A man at a cocktail party wears a nametag that reads "Trouble".

Robbie Williams

Soldiers' Ego

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

"You had me at hell."

"He's got a man cave, a work cave, and a cave cave."

'Our financial troubles are over, Edna. The fellas and I have formed a boy band.'

'I'm a simple man really beneath the code words and the black ops and the multitude of fake passports.'

"This time it's curtains for you, Black Bart!"

"Why do I always choose 'The Bad Boy'?"

"Bartleson, are we cronies yet?"

'Darlin', what's an adjective for a two-timin', heart-breakin' outlaw that rhymes with iPod?'

"Watch yourself, stranger. I've got an itchy trigger finger."

"Mom!!"

Man with many tattoos.

'That's what I call a perfect cover for your Australian assignment, 007'

"On the plus side, it's nice to be doing something together."

"Don't call me ska face!"

Boy Bandy

"Each night Lily said her prayers... As the fleas and gnats do bite and gnaw my skin, so shall the worms eat and consume me, in the dirt and dust of the Lord's earth. Amen. And each night her prayers freaked her parents out."

"I wonder how much he paid for that view."

"Come on. One more. You got it..." "It's so cute when they do that."

Malfunction at the boy-band factory.

'Ah, the old good cop, bad cop routine, eh!'

'That's right, buster, I'm not really Rex, your faithful hunting dog, I'm Agent Baxter of the Fish and Wildlife Service, and you're under arrest for poaching'

"I tell you what, ladies really dig my bad boy image!"

"There's one telltale sign a man is interested in you....He weeps when you mercilessly mock him and all that he holds dear....It also weeds out the 'men' who are afraid to cry."

'John's hiding. I expect His wife gave him quiche again for lunch.'

"I don't recognize the first two fellers, but I'm pretty sure the one on the right is the Hop-A-Long Kid."

Ain't No One Ever Messed With Cactus Arm Johnson

A praying mantis bride throws her husband's head to a crowd of wedding guests.