Bad Boy Appreciator Gifts

'I have to tell you,Tristan- I'm beginning to feel used....'

"Underneath this placid Brooks Brother facade, I'm up to my neck in some excellent biker tattoos."

"Behold the secret to happiness."

Cow being force fed hormones and producing milk.

"I expect you all to be team players - except Ted, whom I expect to remain team mascot."

A man at a cocktail party wears a nametag that reads "Trouble".

'Sorry'

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

"I give you the seven-billion dollar pup, then you give me back the seven-billion-dollar pup."

'Whoever wants my job must lift the sword from the stone.'

"Dig deep! C'mon! You got this!"

"You had me at hell."

New, Improved Cat

'Sometimes it's not a very good idea to be indecisive.'

"Why do I always choose 'The Bad Boy'?"

1st. 2nd. Nice Guy.

"Who wants to go for walkies?"

"I've got pride but no shame."

'...if you look at it in the right way it begins to make sense.'

Self-Esteem Clinic.

'S**t!'

"Careful with Number Three. I hear she's a tough one to please."

Well there's something you don't see every day...

"I'll be grateful for the small things, and you can be grateful for the big things - that way, we'll have it covered."

'I told you to be careful near my piercings, Gavin - they're not beer can ring pulls, you know!'

"Are you nuts? This is what I do."

"Do we have any candy?"

"I'd like to help him, but honestly I have no idea who the good boy is."

'Put the sword back in the stone right now, little girl, and we'll pretend this never happened.'

'I told you a blowgun was a bad idea!'

Must you people always call during dinner? - Grim Reaper on the phone.

'Hmmm...I think I know what he's saying here. Sometimes we manage to break through the walls that hold us back, only to find...another wall! Yes! I get it!'

Dear kindly Rudy Park reader, We can appreciate that you don't have a lot of energy to read and digest a comic strip. Doubtless you're still digesting mountains of food, and would like to continue your post-gorging nap. Forget that! I'm going to shop until I pass out from exhaustion. We stand corrected. In case I hurl, bring my airsick bag to the Apple Store.

"It's the mark of Cain, but it's benign."

'This is him, on the hands free.'