Bad Boy Enthusiast T-Shirts

"I hate to admit it, but a man with a big carbon footprint makes me hot."

'Armed robbers are sexy and exciting, but kleptomaniacs make the best providers.'

"Oh, yes, he's bad. But in a good way."

"Absolutely not!"

A man at a cocktail party wears a nametag that reads "Trouble".

Soldiers' Ego

'I'm death for goodness sake - why do I have to adopt a more healthy lifestyle?'

"You had me at hell."

"He's got a man cave, a work cave, and a cave cave."

'Our financial troubles are over, Edna. The fellas and I have formed a boy band.'

'I'm a simple man really beneath the code words and the black ops and the multitude of fake passports.'

"Why do I always choose 'The Bad Boy'?"

"This time it's curtains for you, Black Bart!"

"Bartleson, are we cronies yet?"

'Darlin', what's an adjective for a two-timin', heart-breakin' outlaw that rhymes with iPod?'

"Watch yourself, stranger. I've got an itchy trigger finger."

"Mom!!"

Man with many tattoos.

'That's what I call a perfect cover for your Australian assignment, 007'

"On the plus side, it's nice to be doing something together."

"I wonder how much he paid for that view."

"Don't call me ska face!"

"Come on. One more. You got it..." "It's so cute when they do that."

"Each night Lily said her prayers... As the fleas and gnats do bite and gnaw my skin, so shall the worms eat and consume me, in the dirt and dust of the Lord's earth. Amen. And each night her prayers freaked her parents out."

"I tell you what, ladies really dig my bad boy image!"

'Ah, the old good cop, bad cop routine, eh!'

Malfunction at the boy-band factory.

'That's right, buster, I'm not really Rex, your faithful hunting dog, I'm Agent Baxter of the Fish and Wildlife Service, and you're under arrest for poaching'

"I guess I go for the bad boys."

"I don't recognize the first two fellers, but I'm pretty sure the one on the right is the Hop-A-Long Kid."

A praying mantis bride throws her husband's head to a crowd of wedding guests.

'My problem is that I'm a nice guy.'

"There's one telltale sign a man is interested in you....He weeps when you mercilessly mock him and all that he holds dear....It also weeds out the 'men' who are afraid to cry."

'John's hiding. I expect His wife gave him quiche again for lunch.'

Mom, meet my significant other.