Bad Boy Aficionado T-Shirts

"They always go for the dangerous types."

Tammy always dated the sketchiest guys.

"You had me at hell."

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

'I know how much you like holding hands, so I brought you a box of them..'

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces

A man at a cocktail party wears a nametag that reads "Trouble".

"Good lord, Billingsworth. You've stumbled onto the legendary Lepidopterist Graveyard."

'Your honor, I'd like a short recess so my client can make a run for it.'

"I'm not leading the witness; I'm winding up my segment on heinous crimes!"

"A major crime publisher is interested in publishing your homework!"

"Undiagnosed serial killer"

The Investigation

Ancient Egyptian crime scenes.

"Convicts selling novels from prison? At least that could never happen here, eh Jones?"

'Sure we've got a lot of anger. We also got a lot cement.'

"On my taxes, I claimed my inner child as a dependent."

"He's got a man cave, a work cave, and a cave cave."

'Our financial troubles are over, Edna. The fellas and I have formed a boy band.'

'I'm a simple man really beneath the code words and the black ops and the multitude of fake passports.'

Cufflinks + Handcuffs = Embezzlement

Adult Book Store. Leaving home. Finding a Job. Getting Married. Buying a House. Raising Kids. Living with Stress.

'Gee... Nothing says 'I'm dead' like a severed head.'

An empty 'crime' section in a bookhop

"Why do I always choose 'The Bad Boy'?"

"This is too hard, but I'd recognize him on his own."

"It's a fantastic character reference..."

"As his nanny she would have known about his diabetes and et she gave him spoonfuls, yes spoonfuls, of sugar."

"Do you have anything for DNA stains?"

"Don't mess with that guy. He's a real hardwood."

Narcomexico

Violence in Mexico

"No, I can't explain it. He was alive when I buried him."

How to injury yourself as an adult