Royalty Journalist Pillows

Prince Charles celebrates Queen's abdication.

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'How about a game of cards?'

Czarcasm

"He's a guard dog."

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

'I screwed up royally!'

'He was born with a silver spoon all right, but not in his mouth.'

DOWN WITH THE KING!, 'Do you know what the PENALTY is for disturbing the peace during wartime?'

'Small favor, Elizabeth - before we enter the throne room, drop back ten paces.'

'Scroll down for the good stuff!'

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

Marilyn's Rushmore

'The deficit doesn't look nearly so bad now that we've switched to Arabic numerals.'

'You're reordering your priorities? -- Since when do you have priorities?'

Journalism student ponders which course he wants to major in.

'I've told you...only wake me for one of the queen's tirades. Uprisings and coups can wait.'

'When did we permit the Jester to start doing impressions?'

'The service is so much better when you dress as royalty.'

'Be right back -- I have to sign some ennobling legislation.'

"Don't worry, princess, I'm sure one day your Mr. Divine Right will come along."