Royalty Gossip Enthusiast Pillows

"According to this, prince Charming is divorcing Cinderella. He says he was forced into the marriage by his father,and that he's always secretly loved one of her ugly sisters."

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

'Now that's an afro!'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'She's so put together!'

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'How about a game of cards?'

King George I

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

Czarcasm

"He's a guard dog."

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

A little bird told me...

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

'Small favor, Elizabeth - before we enter the throne room, drop back ten paces.'

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

The Unhappy King

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'