Royalty Reviewer Pillows

'You can't keep blaming everything on the Mongol hordes.'

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

'You can just forget about the cake.'

Knight Golfing

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

"I need a little more drama like a ten part mini-series."

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'How about a game of cards?'

King George I

"He's a guard dog."

'The Burrito King.'

'You've made a powerful enemy'

Czarcasm

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

"She wishes to range free!"

'Gerry just can't seem to relax on holiday.'

TV jester.

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."