Royalty Critic Pillows

"I've half a mind to take it down."

"Actually, we're all better off when he IS sleeping on the job."

DOWN WITH THE KING!, 'Do you know what the PENALTY is for disturbing the peace during wartime?'

DOWN WITH THE KING!, 'Do you know what the PENALTY is for disturbing the peace during wartime?'

'Debtors' prison IS the safety net!'

"Are you crazy? - Do you know how much free elections would COST?"

The Money Spider

"I do hope that Harry and Meghan are coping with their stressful life..."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

Knight Golfing

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'How about a game of cards?'

Czarcasm

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

'Gerry just can't seem to relax on holiday.'

"He's a guard dog."

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

The Frog Prince

Princess Anne

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

'I screwed up royally!'

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

'Scroll down for the good stuff!'