Royalty Critic Pillows

"I've half a mind to take it down."

"Actually, we're all better off when he IS sleeping on the job."

DOWN WITH THE KING!, 'Do you know what the PENALTY is for disturbing the peace during wartime?'

DOWN WITH THE KING!, 'Do you know what the PENALTY is for disturbing the peace during wartime?'

'Debtors' prison IS the safety net!'

"Are you crazy? - Do you know how much free elections would COST?"

The Money Spider

"I do hope that Harry and Meghan are coping with their stressful life..."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

Knight Golfing

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'How about a game of cards?'

Czarcasm

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"He's a guard dog."

'Gerry just can't seem to relax on holiday.'

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

The Frog Prince

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

Princess Anne

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

'The deficit doesn't look nearly so bad now that we've switched to Arabic numerals.'

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

'Scroll down for the good stuff!'