Royal Storyteller Gifts

'You think a laissez-faire economy might be better, eh? -- do you have any idea what kings bring on the open market?'

'When more than half of them are lying down like that, it's called a 'recession.'

'But what I'd really like to do is direct.'

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

Meet the author - celebrity autobiographies,

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."

Fairy tale

fairy tales

Witch dice.

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

"Deal with it Your Majesty- Comedy is king!"

'I did give your brother a job - he's keeping an eye out for forest fires.'

'Let's face it, we've been getting desperate for new titles.'

Queen to daughter about puppy: 'You won't either name her 'Queenie'!'

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your...Hey!'

Barrister asks King: 'Did you, or did you not, refer to my client as a dirty rascal?'

Jester Cries Over His Replacement

'No, no, no - I said do me a ship in a bottle'

'We've laid it out so that twice a year the sun's rays will penetrate all the way back to the throne and smack him right between the eyes.'

King reaching for an apple

King Charles III's coronation

"No, it's a unicorn, not a one-point buck."

'Ghost Writers in the Sky.'

'To absent teeth.'

'Funny how his eyes seem to follow you around the room.'

'There's no business like show business.'

LUDWIG REX, 'I don't like it - It makes me sound like a hairdresser!'

Palanquin Toilet Break

'First you drop hints - if that doesn't work, you drop bombs.'

'We don't have the funds to build a huge statue of you, Sire - How would you feel about a bobble-head?'

'...And before I knew it, I'd delegated ALL my authority!'

'He doesn't reign so much as he drizzles.'

The First autobiography: 'I'm afraid, sire, if you want a biography, you'll have to write it yourself!'