Royal Storyteller Gifts

'You think a laissez-faire economy might be better, eh? -- do you have any idea what kings bring on the open market?'

'When more than half of them are lying down like that, it's called a 'recession.'

'But what I'd really like to do is direct.'

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

Servant brings king skateboard on pillow.

Meet the author - celebrity autobiographies,

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

Fairy tale

fairy tales

Witch dice.

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."

"Deal with it Your Majesty- Comedy is king!"

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

Queen to daughter about puppy: 'You won't either name her 'Queenie'!'

'Let's face it, we've been getting desperate for new titles.'

'I did give your brother a job - he's keeping an eye out for forest fires.'

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your...Hey!'

"His majesty wants to binge-watch some comedy. Can you whip up 10 hours of new material?"

Jester Cries Over His Replacement

Barrister asks King: 'Did you, or did you not, refer to my client as a dirty rascal?'

'No, no, no - I said do me a ship in a bottle'

'We've laid it out so that twice a year the sun's rays will penetrate all the way back to the throne and smack him right between the eyes.'

King Charles III's coronation

"No, it's a unicorn, not a one-point buck."

King reaching for an apple

'Ghost Writers in the Sky.'

'To absent teeth.'

LUDWIG REX, 'I don't like it - It makes me sound like a hairdresser!'

'Funny how his eyes seem to follow you around the room.'

'There's no business like show business.'

Palanquin Toilet Break

'First you drop hints - if that doesn't work, you drop bombs.'

"This must be the transparency he promised."

'We don't have the funds to build a huge statue of you, Sire - How would you feel about a bobble-head?'