Lover Of Royal Stories Gifts

Royal Toilet Assistant

'How about a game of cards?'

"A kingdom? A whole kingdom? All I want is a horse."

The Queen

'Let's face it, we've been getting desperate for new titles.'

'I know you had to give him a job because he's a relative, but I still think a Press Secretary should know how to read and write.'

'You'd better put yours on, too -- The MacBeths are coming for dinner.'

'How about a game of cards?'

Barrister asks King: 'Did you, or did you not, refer to my client as a dirty rascal?'

'But what I'd really like to do is direct.'

"Sire, the auditors are in the counting house."

'Yes Sir, we do believe 'the customer is king', but that doesn't give you the right to deduct a 'Peasant's Tax' from your bill!'

"Take me to your leader"

'There's no business like show business.'

"I mean - how big can this Goliath guy be?"

"Excellent, but not fit for a king."

"We have 'Too Hot,' 'Too Cold,' and 'Just Right.'"

"Look! - Bloody sponging foreigners...."

Queen of diamonds

The First autobiography: 'I'm afraid, sire, if you want a biography, you'll have to write it yourself!'

'I just dreamed you were my Queen and I was King Henry VIII.'

'Sorry, McTavish, but I've decided to switch to easy listening.'

Reigning Cats and Dogs.

"Do you worry about hoarding?"

Ann Boleyn like nothing better than to settle down with a good self help book.

A Reception at the Queen's House, now Buckingham Palace (Engraved BW Version)

Henry VIII and his Six Wives

A royal helps their injured footman carry their palanquin

'You think a laissez-faire economy might be better, eh? -- do you have any idea what kings bring on the open market?'

'The deficit doesn't look nearly so bad now that we've switched to Arabic numerals.'

'You idiot! -- I said to purge the voter rolls, not purge the voters!'

'Happy Birthday, Son! -- We got you your own Swiss bank account!'

'Kings are SUPPOSED to flaunt it!'