Reading About Royals Gifts

'Let's take this step by step -- first, I want you to recognize each other's right to exist.'

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

"Albert the Great—what a joke."

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

King with the boom box.

Queen Hermione - Queen Victoria Urged To Stop Mourning and Return to Public Life

The Queen

"You rang, m'lord?"

'Let's face it, we've been getting desperate for new titles.'

'You'd better put yours on, too -- The MacBeths are coming for dinner.'

Barrister asks King: 'Did you, or did you not, refer to my client as a dirty rascal?'

Every time an invading army tries to kill me, I wonder if I should have finished art school instead of going to the family business.

Ethelred II

"Good morning, beheaded—uh, I mean beloved."

'What's the point of being king of the dogs if I still have to fetch his slippers?!'

"Sire, the auditors are in the counting house."

'But what I'd really like to do is direct.'

'Yes Sir, we do believe 'the customer is king', but that doesn't give you the right to deduct a 'Peasant's Tax' from your bill!'

'There's no business like show business.'

'and what do you do?'

'How did your 'get tough on crime' speech go?'

"God made me king because God is good."

"Don't give me this stupid 'Renaissance' stuff! - The Middle Ages were good enough for my father and they're good enough for me!"

"Look! - Bloody sponging foreigners...."

Prince Charles celebrates Queen's abdication.

'...And before I knew it, I'd delegated ALL my authority!'

"According to this, prince Charming is divorcing Cinderella. He says he was forced into the marriage by his father,and that he's always secretly loved one of her ugly sisters."

"So, son, princes descended from frogs while other humans descended from apes."

The First autobiography: 'I'm afraid, sire, if you want a biography, you'll have to write it yourself!'

'Sorry, McTavish, but I've decided to switch to easy listening.'

Ann Boleyn like nothing better than to settle down with a good self help book.

A Reception at the Queen's House, now Buckingham Palace (Engraved BW Version)

Henry VIII and his Six Wives

A mother wanting to introduce her daughters to a member of a foreign royal family

'The deficit doesn't look nearly so bad now that we've switched to Arabic numerals.'