Reading About Royals Pillows

'Let's take this step by step -- first, I want you to recognize each other's right to exist.'

"Albert the Great—what a joke."

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

Queen Hermione - Queen Victoria Urged To Stop Mourning and Return to Public Life

The Queen

'Let's face it, we've been getting desperate for new titles.'

"You rang, m'lord?"

'You'd better put yours on, too -- The MacBeths are coming for dinner.'

Barrister asks King: 'Did you, or did you not, refer to my client as a dirty rascal?'

Ethelred II

"Good morning, beheaded—uh, I mean beloved."

'What's the point of being king of the dogs if I still have to fetch his slippers?!'

'But what I'd really like to do is direct.'

"Sire, the auditors are in the counting house."

'Yes Sir, we do believe 'the customer is king', but that doesn't give you the right to deduct a 'Peasant's Tax' from your bill!'

'There's no business like show business.'

"God made me king because God is good."

'How did your 'get tough on crime' speech go?'

'and what do you do?'

"Don't give me this stupid 'Renaissance' stuff! - The Middle Ages were good enough for my father and they're good enough for me!"

"Look! - Bloody sponging foreigners...."

'Sorry, McTavish, but I've decided to switch to easy listening.'

"So, son, princes descended from frogs while other humans descended from apes."

"According to this, prince Charming is divorcing Cinderella. He says he was forced into the marriage by his father,and that he's always secretly loved one of her ugly sisters."

Prince Charles celebrates Queen's abdication.

The First autobiography: 'I'm afraid, sire, if you want a biography, you'll have to write it yourself!'

'...And before I knew it, I'd delegated ALL my authority!'

Ann Boleyn like nothing better than to settle down with a good self help book.

Henry VIII and his Six Wives

A Reception at the Queen's House, now Buckingham Palace (Engraved BW Version)

'The deficit doesn't look nearly so bad now that we've switched to Arabic numerals.'

A mother wanting to introduce her daughters to a member of a foreign royal family

'You think a laissez-faire economy might be better, eh? -- do you have any idea what kings bring on the open market?'