Royal Storytelling Enthusiasts Pillows

The First autobiography: 'I'm afraid, sire, if you want a biography, you'll have to write it yourself!'

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

'Now that's an afro!'

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

King George I

"She wishes to range free!"

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

The Unhappy King

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

'Henry, we can't begin to make progress unless your friend leaves the room.'

'It's in my belly-button if you must know!'

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

"A kingdom? A whole kingdom? All I want is a horse."

Royal Love

''Depression'? -- You or the country or both?'

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

"To be fair, I think you should be very clear about the ground rules with your next jester."

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

'I know that you think you should be the President of this company, Your Majesty. But, you'll just have to work your way up, like I did!'

'But, dear -- Lady Godiva is part of my diversity program!'

'Nobody treats the king that way and gets away with it.'

Hoodies anticipate bride's choice of wedding dress.

'I'll have your head on a platter.'

'Under blood type, sir, could you be a little more specific than blue?'

'He just outlawed his in-laws.'