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The First autobiography: 'I'm afraid, sire, if you want a biography, you'll have to write it yourself!'

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

'Now that's an afro!'

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

King George I

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

"She wishes to range free!"

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

The Unhappy King

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

'Henry, we can't begin to make progress unless your friend leaves the room.'

'It's in my belly-button if you must know!'

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

"A kingdom? A whole kingdom? All I want is a horse."

Royal Love

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

''Depression'? -- You or the country or both?'

"To be fair, I think you should be very clear about the ground rules with your next jester."

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

Hoodies anticipate bride's choice of wedding dress.

"And His Majesty sends you a great big kiss, too."

'Under blood type, sir, could you be a little more specific than blue?'

"Someone should have warned you - he doesn't suffer fools gladly."

'I know that you think you should be the President of this company, Your Majesty. But, you'll just have to work your way up, like I did!'

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

'But, dear -- Lady Godiva is part of my diversity program!'

'He just outlawed his in-laws.'