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Barrister asks King: 'Did you, or did you not, refer to my client as a dirty rascal?'

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

'Now that's an afro!'

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

Knight Golfing

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

The Mouse Princess

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

King George I

'How about a game of cards?'

"He's a guard dog."

Czarcasm

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

'Gerry just can't seem to relax on holiday.'

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

The Frog Prince

Princess Anne

'He was born with a silver spoon all right, but not in his mouth.'