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Barrister asks King: 'Did you, or did you not, refer to my client as a dirty rascal?'

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

'Now that's an afro!'

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

Knight Golfing

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

The Mouse Princess

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

King George I

'How about a game of cards?'

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'You've made a powerful enemy'

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

"He's a guard dog."

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

Czarcasm

'Gerry just can't seem to relax on holiday.'

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

The Frog Prince

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

Princess Anne

'He was born with a silver spoon all right, but not in his mouth.'