Royal History Buffs Pillows

'How did your 'get tough on crime' speech go?'

'and what do you do?'

'We CAN'T overthrow him -- he owes us money.'

'The royal foreword certainly won't harm your joke book's prospects.'

Sarah Ferguson

King Arthur on the lake trying to open letters when the lady of the lake offers a letter opener.

King George I

"She wishes to range free!"

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

King on the toilet whilst jester laughs because the toilet paper is out of reach.

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

"Albert the Great—what a joke."

'It's in my belly-button if you must know!'

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

'Hardy I see no chips!'

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

King with the boom box.

The Royal Wii.

'I'll have your head on a platter.'

'One can see the baby's crown!'

"And His Majesty sends you a great big kiss, too."

'I know that you think you should be the President of this company, Your Majesty. But, you'll just have to work your way up, like I did!'

'Under blood type, sir, could you be a little more specific than blue?'

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread!', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff.'

Diana Inquest - 'It's time to move on, and start making a TV mini-series of her life.'

Queen Hermione - Queen Victoria Urged To Stop Mourning and Return to Public Life

The Queen

"The kids - Prince Englebert and Princess Felicia - would like us to move into the olde monarchs' home."

"'Happily ever after' you want? Then you keep the house kosher!"

'Well, you DID know this job was dangerous when you took it.'

'My son made it for me in shop class.'

"She leaked WHAT to the press?"