Royal Skeptics Gifts

Coronation Civil Rights

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

'Now that's an afro!'

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

King George I

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

The Unhappy King

'Henry, we can't begin to make progress unless your friend leaves the room.'

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

Royal Love

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

'If I inspired this love peom, how come it's written on the back of a Hooters' napkin?'

''Depression'? -- You or the country or both?'

"To be fair, I think you should be very clear about the ground rules with your next jester."

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

'Nobody treats the king that way and gets away with it.'

"And His Majesty sends you a great big kiss, too."

King completes rubik's cube.

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

'But, dear -- Lady Godiva is part of my diversity program!'

'He just outlawed his in-laws.'

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

"Someone should have warned you - he doesn't suffer fools gladly."

Hoodies anticipate bride's choice of wedding dress.

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

Disraeli becomes Earl of Beaconsfield

Diana Inquest - 'It's time to move on, and start making a TV mini-series of her life.'

"With a little luck he'll be a benevolent teenager."