Royal Portrait Artist Gifts

'It would help if you took this portrait seriously, Your Majesty.'

Cariactures

"It is we."

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"Caricatures $20"

"I've considered portraiture, but everyone is so ugly."

Diego Velasquez

"Stop complaining and smile! It's a job, isn't it? NO wonder they call you Mona!"

'I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

Reign Man

Family Portrait Abuse.

Couple painting each other - one turns to the other and says, 'Hon, let's hire a model.'

Street painter puts real face on man with happy face.

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

"Friend or foe?"

"now let's try one without the tusks."

'I'm not saying he's unpopular, but the Secret Service won't let me wear spike heels.'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"Deal with it Your Majesty- Comedy is king!"

The King In The Rain.

Artistic Licence.

Portrait artist drawing DNA patterns.

Caricatures priced by how much they look like you.

'Have you considered drawing other people?'

'I did give your brother a job - he's keeping an eye out for forest fires.'

'Do you have an appointment?'

'From left to right: witchfinder general, jester jocular and spouse peculiar.'

'Curses! My eyes were closed.'

Queen to daughter about puppy: 'You won't either name her 'Queenie'!'

Artist and the artist's model both thinking of the money.

'If I don't like it, I rearrange your face.'

"Here it comes!"

"I dreamed Lucian Freud was coming to paint us."