Royal Fanatic Pillows

'He used to be absolutely corrupt. But after Magna Carta, he's only corrupt.'

'I never dreamed the 'equal work for equal pay' bill would apply to me!'

Capitalist Being Paid by Monarch

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

'Now that's an afro!'

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

King George I

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

TV jester.

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

Photos of Queen Elizabeth II

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

'The King of what?'

The Unhappy King

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

Trading half a kingdom for a lesser steed!

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

'Of all the technological advances from the last 60 years, this is one's favourite.'

'Henry, we can't begin to make progress unless your friend leaves the room.'

'Look, Carl, the glory days are over. You might want to slip into something a little more comfortable.'

''Depression'? -- You or the country or both?'

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

Royal Love

King and Jester

'Yes, he definitely wants something. . . maybe his crown and scepter.'

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

"Grant them amnesty and then hang them."

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

"To be fair, I think you should be very clear about the ground rules with your next jester."

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'