Royal Family Fanatic Pillows

'Murder my spouse? Oh, that's nothing but an old wives' tale.'

'Elizabeth, it looks as if one of your 'loyal subjects' has gorn and run orf with a flag orf the limo'!'

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

'Now that's an afro!'

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

King George I

Photos of Queen Elizabeth II

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

'She posted her first blog today.'

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

The Unhappy King

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

'Of all the technological advances from the last 60 years, this is one's favourite.'

'Henry, we can't begin to make progress unless your friend leaves the room.'

'I never dreamed the 'equal work for equal pay' bill would apply to me!'

''Depression'? -- You or the country or both?'

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

Royal Love

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

"To be fair, I think you should be very clear about the ground rules with your next jester."

'Our top theologians have studied the issue, Your Majesty, and they agree that you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.'

Everybody forgot his jubilee.

"And His Majesty sends you a great big kiss, too."

'This year, Sire, I've created a socko narrative of scatological raillery and rollicking nihilism which ends with a sexy justification for third quarter losses.'

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

'He just outlawed his in-laws.'

Reign Man

"Someone should have warned you - he doesn't suffer fools gladly."

Hoodies anticipate bride's choice of wedding dress.

'But, dear -- Lady Godiva is part of my diversity program!'

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

Disraeli becomes Earl of Beaconsfield