Royal Family Enthusiast Pillows

Henry VIII tells Catherine of Aragon that he is about to divorce her.

'If Daddy ever abdicated, you'd keep him on as a consultant, wouldn't you?'

'I understand that none of you have been patronizing Prince Billy's lemonade stand....'

'It's a Mexican Wave, not a 'ALL HAIL TO THE QUEEN' you egotistical tw@t!'

'Oh, I almost forgot -- commandeer some bread and milk on your way home.'

'Need I remind you Harry, this is an official Public not Pubic engagement!'

"What do you mean, Grandma granted you asylum?"

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

'Now that's an afro!'

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

King George I

'How about a game of cards?'

"He's a guard dog."

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

Czarcasm

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

"She wishes to range free!"

Photos of Queen Elizabeth II

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

King on the toilet whilst jester laughs because the toilet paper is out of reach.

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."