Royal Family Aficionado Pillows

'I'm sorry guy's, we'll be going hungry tonight. The 'bush tucker trial', was one meal for every Paul Burrell 'Diana anecdote' I could endure!'

'I'm a guard dog too.'

Queen

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"Well how about that. . . Lady Godiva bought a Harley!"

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

'Now that's an afro!'

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

King George I

'How about a game of cards?'

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

"She wishes to range free!"

Photos of Queen Elizabeth II

Czarcasm

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

"He's a guard dog."

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

King on the toilet whilst jester laughs because the toilet paper is out of reach.

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

'I screwed up royally!'

'He was born with a silver spoon all right, but not in his mouth.'

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'