Royal Enthusiast Pillows

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

"Well, just look at you - that's why I'm king."

'Why don't we keep the law of demand, repeal the supply part,'

"The women on these dating sites don't seem to believe I'm a prince."

Camilla Parker-Bowles

"I got my DNA analysis back. Guess what - I'm a Hapsburg."

"My father-who the hell do you think named me Edward the Lesser?"

Prince William

Prince Charles

'Don't think of it as war - think of it as the beginning of the peace process.'

Is this 'whatever love means?' (Charles and Camilla).

'I hear what you're saying, but believe me - Taxation WITHOUT representation is a lot less hassle.'

'Well somebody should have checked!'

'This is the only way I'll get a crown' (prince Charles at the dentist's).

Disraeli becomes Earl of Beaconsfield

King Henry IV

1952-2012: 60 Glorious Years.

'This merger isn't going to work!'

'Yes he is a royalist...ever since it was announced there was to be a national holiday....!!'

'Absolute power is a tricky thing, Son ? you've got to use it or lose it.'

'I just hope that my life inspires young people to believe in their own ridiculously overdeveloped sense of entitlement!'

"May I suggest we up your medication, sire.

"To be fair, I think you should be very clear about the ground rules with your next jester."

'...And then I found out that I was out of compliance!'

Prince Andrew

King Henry VI

'Everything will be all right now, folks - The old king died and I took over.'

'What do you mean, you 'outsourced everything'?'

'GET OFF MY LAWN!'

Game of Thrones

'Good news. The DNA proves you're not guilty, you have no genetic diseases, and you're a half-brother of the Prince of Glavistan.'

Queen reigning.

'The dating agency has been in touch- you've been getting some less than positive feedback.'

'You've got to pick battles you can WIN!'

"You should know better than to give a speech in the morning before you've had your coffee."