Royalty Fanatic Pillows

'How fast can you make me literate? -- I want to rewrite history.'

'You can't have the day off, but you can re-enact he wedding in your own time.'

'I KNEW I should have hedged that election bet!'

Edward the Overtall

Europe on $5000 a day.

'...and I keep hearing, THERE IT GOES AGAIN!!...'God Save the Queen'....'

Somewhere in cold waters, a Patagonian Toothfish enjoys its new status...

Tower of London

"He said the only thing he wanted for his birthday was a wave machine."

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"Well how about that. . . Lady Godiva bought a Harley!"

'Now that's an afro!'

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

King George I

'How about a game of cards?'

Czarcasm

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

'How about a game of cards?'

"She wishes to range free!"

"He's a guard dog."

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

TV jester.

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."