Royalty Fanatic Pillows

'How fast can you make me literate? -- I want to rewrite history.'

'You can't have the day off, but you can re-enact he wedding in your own time.'

'I KNEW I should have hedged that election bet!'

Edward the Overtall

Europe on $5000 a day.

'...and I keep hearing, THERE IT GOES AGAIN!!...'God Save the Queen'....'

Somewhere in cold waters, a Patagonian Toothfish enjoys its new status...

Tower of London

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'Now that's an afro!'

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

King George I

'How about a game of cards?'

Czarcasm

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

TV jester.

"He's a guard dog."

'How about a game of cards?'

"She wishes to range free!"

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

King on the toilet whilst jester laughs because the toilet paper is out of reach.

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'