Royal Fanatic Gifts

'He used to be absolutely corrupt. But after Magna Carta, he's only corrupt.'

'I never dreamed the 'equal work for equal pay' bill would apply to me!'

Capitalist Being Paid by Monarch

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Well how about that. . . Lady Godiva bought a Harley!"

'Now that's an afro!'

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

King George I

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

TV jester.

Photos of Queen Elizabeth II

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

Oh, wait - Their king posted a declaration of war on your Facebook wall this morning.

Trading half a kingdom for a lesser steed!

'The King of what?'

The Unhappy King

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

"Seriously, you can't balance the budget with cushion change."

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

"He doesn't suffer fools gladly."

'Of all the technological advances from the last 60 years, this is one's favourite.'

'Look, Carl, the glory days are over. You might want to slip into something a little more comfortable.'

'Henry, we can't begin to make progress unless your friend leaves the room.'

"Don't even think about it! I am the property of the English Monarch!"

'You have received a grant from the king - his secret incantation to chant over your experiments.'

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

King and Jester

'He'll stop being so smug when he gets his first dent.'

"Grant them amnesty and then hang them."

'Yes, he definitely wants something. . . maybe his crown and scepter.'

Royal Love

''Depression'? -- You or the country or both?'

"To be fair, I think you should be very clear about the ground rules with your next jester."