Royal Aficionado Gifts

'Of all the technological advances from the last 60 years, this is one's favourite.'

King Henry V

"The food's great, but the chef's a tyrant."

"Am I Henry the fifth or Henry the sixth? I can't remember."

Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall

Prince Philip

'Looks like they're in.'

Prince Charles

"You call them slaves. I call them a support group."

DRINK LAFARGE'S ALE, 'He's trying his best to balance the budget.'

'Can you hang on a minute - we've got a bit of a bill log-jam, your majesty.'

Queen Anne

Princess Anne

High mucky-muck meets low mucky-muck!

Jester has little jester head on stick, king has little king head on stick.

'This year, Sire, I've created a socko narrative of scatological raillery and rollicking nihilism which ends with a sexy justification for third quarter losses.'

'You'll be in charge of our diplomatic relations with Russia -- I'm appointing you my 'Czar Czar.''

"Good morning, Your Majesty."

'Montrous Craws'- The Reconciliation of Prince of Wales with his Parents

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"Well how about that. . . Lady Godiva bought a Harley!"

'Now that's an afro!'

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'How about a game of cards?'

King George I

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

Czarcasm

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'