English Royalty Fanatic Gifts

Lady Jane Grey

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'Now that's an afro!'

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

King George I

'How about a game of cards?'

Czarcasm

TV jester.

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

"She wishes to range free!"

"He's a guard dog."

"The peasants are revolting Sire."

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

King on the toilet whilst jester laughs because the toilet paper is out of reach.

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

'The King of what?'

The Unhappy King

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

'The deficit doesn't look nearly so bad now that we've switched to Arabic numerals.'

'He was born with a silver spoon all right, but not in his mouth.'