Royal Gifts

'I'm pretty sure I never said I wanted a 'Bouncy' castle.'

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

Football Royalty

'Why, thanks -- long live YOU, too!'

BRINGGGG!, 'I TOLD you to turn off your cell phone!'

'TWO crowns? - I'd say you definitely have delusions of grandeur.'

'Mother's visiting next week, so I'd like you to lock up all the dissidents.'

'Hey! I didn't ask to be king - I had it thrust upon me!'

BEING KING IS A TAXING PROFESSION!

'Well, you DID know this job was dangerous when you took it.'

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'You can just forget about the cake.'

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

"I need a little more drama like a ten part mini-series."

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

King George I

'How about a game of cards?'

'You've made a powerful enemy'

TV jester.

Czarcasm

'How about a game of cards?'

'Gerry just can't seem to relax on holiday.'

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

'The Burrito King.'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

"Surprise!"

"She wishes to range free!"

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'