Royal History Gifts

What brought down the royal families of Europe: Fast-lane: Royalty only!

Jester Cries Over His Replacement

'Does it have to be red?'

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"Well how about that. . . Lady Godiva bought a Harley!"

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

'You can just forget about the cake.'

"It's a cage. It's gilded, and I love it."

'At this rate I'll end up with more heirs than hairs!'

"I need a little more drama like a ten part mini-series."

The Grasshopper's Feast: A Prophetic Vision

'Don't look at me like that! You're the one who wanted to live in a bouncy castle!'

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'How about a game of cards?'

King George I

TV jester.

"She wishes to range free!"

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

Czarcasm

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

'Fancy you doing a curtsey and she being a non-serving royal, you big dope!'

'The Burrito King.'

'You've made a powerful enemy'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

Princess Anne

DOWN WITH THE KING!, 'Do you know what the PENALTY is for disturbing the peace during wartime?'

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