Royal Cooking Gifts

"There's only the four of us. I hope you like doo-wop."

'How about a game of cards?'

'Gerry just can't seem to relax on holiday.'

The Bearskin Hat Family

"I have to admit. You talked a good game."

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

The Royal Wii

King Pin

"You can't just put on the uniform whenever you don't want to have a conversation, Barry."

Limbo Day at the Palace

"My wife isn't speaking to me."

'Do you have an appointment?'

'I'll have the frogs legs - and make sure they're kneeling.'

"And there it is... Coronation chicken"

"It makes me feel better about myself."

"Not yet, wait until he faints."

"Son, that's a nasty looking hairy mole growing on top of your head."

A guardsman is embarrassed when the wind reveals his bearskin hat is doubling as a 'comb over'.

'...perhaps it is rather tempting fate.'

Football Royalty

Every time an invading army tries to kill me, I wonder if I should have finished art school instead of going to the family business.

The Queens Guard hair do.

'What do you mean you're a vegetarian?'

'So what do you do?'

'You were always a bit of a smart ass Watkins.'

'Sorry, sarge! I was trying to get an invite to the wedding!'

Boxer with a pizza

"They don't have a dish named chicken-a-la-queen, do they?"

Grenadiers

'Not coronation chicken again!'

Private Willis

The King Can Do No Wrong

"We met when I needed a frog to dissect an biology class."

Beefeater

'Hey! I didn't ask to be king - I had it thrust upon me!'