Domestic Royal Gifts

"I have to admit. You talked a good game."

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."

"I don't know, kids. I've been a stay-at-home dad for so long it just sort of... happened."

Man with 'Real Ale' written on t-shirt, woman with 'Real Pine' written on rolling pin

"This happens everytime someone asks to speak to the head of the household."

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

"Don't you want to hear about the day I had?"

"There's only the four of us. I hope you like doo-wop."

"That doesn't look like setting the table to me."

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

'I thought he was joking. I didn't think my husband would really turn me in to the FDA!'

'He has his pet and I have mine.'

'Daddy, what did you do on Armed Services Day?'

Cook being told what to do by housemaid

"I wish you'd get more in touch with your masculine side, Robert"

You can't focus on the cost of raising a child. True. They do have benefits. Mom! The glue spilled into your underwear drawer! Dad! Where's the toilet plunger? Though nothing specific leaps to mind.

'Yes, yes, Rupert, you are still a mighty hunter. Now, please bring the turkey back to Luisa in the kitchen.'

'They say a man's home is his castle...here's your sceptre, your highness, the throne is plugged!'

'You may be the CEO of a large corporation, but at home you're an OMW, observe my whims!'

Man of steel wool.

"OK, honey, if I make this one, we blow off Delia's recital."

CHEZ MOI - formerly CHEZ NOUS

"Sloth is a sin."

'Right now he's painting himself in a corner.'

Husband does the housework

"You can't leave! I haven't had dinner yet!"

'I think the microwave has finally given up the ghost.'

"Clark...is there something you'd like to tell me?"

"Synchronized sitting"

'You told me I should run the house like a business, so what am I bid for dinner?'

Football Royalty

Human Dust Buster

"To bat that stupid rolled-up sock around all morning or not to bat the stupid sock around, that is the question."

'My wife just can't understand why I want to do the laundry.'