Domestic Service Gifts

Cook being told what to do by housemaid

Maid

A crowd of happy pet owners.

"Watch out, Simone's hangry - her stomach AND her throat are growling."

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

"I don't do windows."

Ironing day.

The household cavalry

"Me, I think Master and Mistress are incompetent: why else would they need a butler, 3 maids, 2 cooks, 5 gardeners, a pool boy and 2 personal assistants?"

George is pleased with himself. He replaced the toilet seat without calling a plumber.

"I have my pants put on one leg at a time."

"And this latest robot vacuum can fetch a glass of wine while it cleans your floors!"

"Did I hear you use the phrase 'Earn my keep'?"

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 1

"Congratulations, Figbert. I'm making you Vice President in charge of my wife's Honey-Do-List."

“I don’t mind doing the dishes every night—it gives me time to deepen my resentment.”

Heavy-duty, super-capacity, two speeds, 10 cycles. All of them vicious.

Those missing socks...where do they go?

Servant running after a couple dressed up for a fancy ball with the door-key

The kitchen at Abel Cottage

Cook asking for her vinaigrette after recieving an offer from the dustman

Kit makes an appointment

'Hello, is that the employment agency? It's about the domestic you sent me.'

'Well at least your washing up arm is O.K!'

'Oh my god, it's the Grim Housekeeper!'

'My Graham is very house-proud.'

Maid

Master of the house states that he will be detained in the city on business when he learns that there is cold mutton for dinner.

Capturing a Cook

Cook in interview explaining she left her last post because her employee did not like her singing

"Her ladyship isn't in—wait, yes, no—so sorry, she's out."

"No, thanks Bob. And just exactly when did you decide you were a 'dog person'?"

"There's food in the fridge, and clues about the state of our marriage all around the house."

"Well he's sweating, pale, and out of breath, but then again he's not used to being home doing the housework."

'I'll tell you what mister - I'll lose ten pounds and stop nagging, the same day you act your age, cleanup after yourself, cook your own food and get a brain in that fat head.'