Domestic Help Gifts

"I don't do windows."

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

Ironing day.

'Our Filipino dog's a real treasure.'

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

The household cavalry

George is pleased with himself. He replaced the toilet seat without calling a plumber.

"Me, I think Master and Mistress are incompetent: why else would they need a butler, 3 maids, 2 cooks, 5 gardeners, a pool boy and 2 personal assistants?"

"I have my pants put on one leg at a time."

"And this latest robot vacuum can fetch a glass of wine while it cleans your floors!"

'Not bad. Already 17 minutes into Saturday morning before I receive my first ultimatum.'

Tortoise polishing his shell

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 1

"Did I hear you use the phrase 'Earn my keep'?"

"Congratulations, Figbert. I'm making you Vice President in charge of my wife's Honey-Do-List."

Cook being told what to do by housemaid

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

Heavy-duty, super-capacity, two speeds, 10 cycles. All of them vicious.

“I don’t mind doing the dishes every night—it gives me time to deepen my resentment.”

'Anything need fix'n around here? I mean besides the lamp I just broke.'

Those missing socks...where do they go?

The kitchen at Abel Cottage

Kit makes an appointment

Servant running after a couple dressed up for a fancy ball with the door-key

'Hello, is that the employment agency? It's about the domestic you sent me.'

Cook asking for her vinaigrette after recieving an offer from the dustman

'My wife likes it when I help out in the kitchen.'

Master of the house states that he will be detained in the city on business when he learns that there is cold mutton for dinner.

Maid

"What happened to what cat?"

'Oh my god, it's the Grim Housekeeper!'

'My Graham is very house-proud.'