Domestic Help Gifts

"I don't do windows."

Housewife feeding her washing machine with a brief.

'Our Filipino dog's a real treasure.'

Ironing day.

"Did you remember my mints?"

"Twenty five years... I think it's time we renew our towels."

Moses unblocking the toilet.

The household cavalry

"Me, I think Master and Mistress are incompetent: why else would they need a butler, 3 maids, 2 cooks, 5 gardeners, a pool boy and 2 personal assistants?"

George is pleased with himself. He replaced the toilet seat without calling a plumber.

"I have my pants put on one leg at a time."

"And this latest robot vacuum can fetch a glass of wine while it cleans your floors!"

"Congratulations, Figbert. I'm making you Vice President in charge of my wife's Honey-Do-List."

Mr. Briggs' Pleasures of Housekeeping, part 1

Tortoise polishing his shell

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

'Not bad. Already 17 minutes into Saturday morning before I receive my first ultimatum.'

Cook being told what to do by housemaid

"Did I hear you use the phrase 'Earn my keep'?"

'Anything need fix'n around here? I mean besides the lamp I just broke.'

Heavy-duty, super-capacity, two speeds, 10 cycles. All of them vicious.

“I don’t mind doing the dishes every night—it gives me time to deepen my resentment.”

Those missing socks...where do they go?

Cook asking for her vinaigrette after recieving an offer from the dustman

'Hello, is that the employment agency? It's about the domestic you sent me.'

'My wife likes it when I help out in the kitchen.'

Kit makes an appointment

The kitchen at Abel Cottage

Darlene, my intelligence tells me that your fiance is a slob. What intelligence, Rudy? Surveillance photos – dirty clothes and towels thrown on the floor. Dishes piled up in the sink. That's my Mel? How did you get those? Top-flight government spy methods. House of Java.net Cybercafe.

Servant running after a couple dressed up for a fancy ball with the door-key

Iron Lady and Iron Man

'My Graham is very house-proud.'

Master of the house states that he will be detained in the city on business when he learns that there is cold mutton for dinner.

"What happened to what cat?"

Maid