Domestic Knight Gifts

A housewife is looking at her dishwasher; the door is open, and looks like a drawbridge - men on horseback are emerging.

Bird feeding chick that is nesting in a knight's helmet

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

"Whosoever slays this dragon may marry the princess."

"Go ahead. This one seems too arrogant."

Knights of the bedside table.

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

"Yes, I'm sure. The dragon I saw was quite a bit bigger."

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

'Not gruel, stupid! -- I said find the GRAIL!'

"Say! While I'm off in the Holy Land, why don't you find a little crusade of some kind that interests you?"

"I have to admit. You talked a good game."

Don't tell my wife. Dragon head.

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

"I was hoping you'd consider this a prelude to a kiss."

Pun on Excalibur - Swiss Army knife appears from the lake.

Honour Being Served 'Apps at Dawn'.

'Daddy, what did you do on Armed Services Day?'

'Is "I'll huff and I'll puff till I blow your castle down" the best intimidation we can come up with!!'

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

"I'm sorry, my therapist told me to give up slaying dragons."

Beware of the Dragon

"I wish you'd get more in touch with your masculine side, Robert"

Toastquest!

'Yes, yes, Rupert, you are still a mighty hunter. Now, please bring the turkey back to Luisa in the kitchen.'

You can't focus on the cost of raising a child. True. They do have benefits. Mom! The glue spilled into your underwear drawer! Dad! Where's the toilet plunger? Though nothing specific leaps to mind.

'The king wants a gesture, not a jester.'

Actually, I slayed it for the castle's resale value, but don't tell her that.

Yeah, that's mine - My mom puts my name inside my helmet in case it comes off.

'All I'm saying is; This maiden I'm here to rescue had better be really good looking!'

"One of you go see who's at the door."

Castle drawbridge opens to reveal a dishwasher

My horse for a kingdom.

"It's off the rack. The guy on the rack doesn't need it anymore."